Most of our parents lived a cidentric life, that means they went to work, (mostly driving or being driven)
came back home, cooked, ate, watched TV and went to bed.
Before you know it, their joints started packing up, they would need help going down the stair case, coming out of the car, lifting things from the ground and a constant urge for massages.
Imagine running in this circle for decades?
This goes on to reveal why there are so many sick people in their 40’s, 50’s and above.
Please and please, choose a different life for the sake of you and your family.
Be active, eat right Nd please make exercising a part of you.
I really do not envy this kinda life…
This has spur me into wanting a different life for myself, my husband and those who care to listen.
Why do I detest the cidentric life?
Maybe because I’m not a fan of trends. I would rather create my own reality so I decided I would take a different route.
I made a vow with myself that Until I see Jesus face to face, I will NEVER need help with doing things, climbing the stair case or going up a hill.
This is not just speaking empty, I back up my words with actions. In other words, I would rather take in bottles of water than take coke or any freezy drink.
When others are filling up their plates with chunk of meats, fries, large portions of carbohydrates, I would rather stick with small portion of protein and eat more veggies.
I don’t just eat anyhow and anything.
I am obsessed with a healthy lifestyle.
I am angry anytime I see people in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s already acting old and weak… Someone shout No way…)
what I eat and consciously and consistently wanting a more healthy life.
My goal is to remain physically, spiritually and intellectually active and attentive even in my oldest age and to be able to jumb, run and climb the stair case effortlessly even at age 70. And to be intellectually active and attentive.
I want to be so healthy that sickness that comes with age runs when it sees me coming.
I don’t want to be old and Yoke my children with having to take care of me or spend money in numerous check ups, operations and so on.
And the goal ultimately is to die healthy.
I am far from convinced that old age should come long with certain disadvantage and disabilities.
I want to believe in the possibility of being old in age Nd young at heart, body soul and spirit.
My question to you is
How have you been eating?
Have you been making wrong choices?
The good news is;
It only takes one right turn to make up for all the wrong ones you’ve made.
You can’t keep a bad attitude and get the good life you desire.
It’s time to give up our bad choices of eating and embrace the good life.
Do not compromise with eating healthy.
Life is too short to eat wrong.
I’m raising the flag for eating right… I want you to raise yours with me.
Etaing healthy is not easy. It might take you putting in some extra effort but I think your body sesreves it baby.
It’s time to let go of fries, too much carbohydrates, too much sweet stuff, sweetened drinks…
Yes, it’s hard.
Life sometimes can get so overwhelming so much it compels us into thinking, ‘will this ever be over?’
Can I get through this? And when exactly?
Yes, there are times you won’t understand.
Yes, you will have moments where you feel like nothing is working out.
I’ve personally been fighting some battles in recent times, not physical though, (battles in my mind and environment) and I tell you, these battles sometimes threaten to choke out the life outta me but I keep shouting… “No Way”
John puts it nicely in John 14:1
“Do not let your hearts be troubled.
You believe in God; believe also in me.
For some of us, you might not relate with this article and that’s OK, perhaps you have never experienced any challenge in your life.
Well, this article goes out to everyone whose been fighting some unseen battles.
*Crying in the secret while sharing smiles in the open.
* Crying bouts when no one’s watching.
* Getting stuck with the same results time and time again.
* Pressures from your job, your family, your marriage…etcetera.
* Feeling alone in this big complicated world.
I pray this for you ” May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:1)
My dearest, lemme tell you something.
You will meet with alot of obstacles on your way to greatness. ALOT.
Challenges will come oh.
They are a count-on-it-experience so it’s better to put up structures that will help you handle them when they come.
The question is not ‘if they will come’ but ‘when’ because they will.
It gets frustrsting and I know that.
But that’s not the point I’m trying to drive home.
My question to you is… who are you clinging to?
When it gets too hard, who do you run to?
Have you seen what Psalm 56:3 says?
Well, I will just quote it right up for the sake of those too lazy to check it up.. Lol
” When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Lord)
When life throws blows at you, it’s no time to start blaming people or running away from God, it is time to draw closer and more closer… He’s the only reliable person you have.
It’s time to start clinging to God & not man! Not your bank account, not your business, not your degrees, not your spouce, not your salary, not your whatever else!
So, I pray that this short blog reminds you to trust in the Lord and not in what you see. We must finally start maturing in this walk and stop seeking the “quick way out.”
Let’s get to applying and stop coveting everybody else’s progress.
Hear me, YOU are as close to God as you want to be.
I just love how James puts it: “Come close to God and He will come close to you. (James 4:8a AMP)
I’m not trying to be churchy because I sense someone misinterpreting my intentions.
See enh, in this our world today, you cannot get by successfully and still have your peace without the Lord.
How do you even want to get by through life?
By Your own efforts? Your strategies? Through science? Your own strengths? Hogwash!
It’s not about being religious, it’s about complete trust in the Lord and having a genuine heart.
God loves you like crazy-believe me, and he wants to see you happy, successful and enjoying the peace that comes from His throne of grace customised for you.
JUST A SIMPLE REMINDER:
You do not need X to be happy in your life.
Sometimes all you have to be grateful for is that you ‘Have Air in your Lungs.’
* Wealth is good… (very GOOD)
* Getting a good car is beautiful.
* Living in an expensive, gorgeous house is amazing.
* Having the money to pay ALL your bills with EASE, is probably the most exciting feeling in the world… However, that’s not what I’m saying, I want you to know today that having a mega-successful life is not the only way to enjoy life.
See Phillipians 4:4
AMP: “Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice! (take note of the emphasy)
Life is short mehn…
Make the most of it while you can. (so help me God)
Many thanks again for being a part of this blog.
I appreciate that you spare from your precious time to read and drop a comment.
Please remember to like and also share with others.
Remember! You can drop in your questions or suggestions in the comment section below this post.
I will come your way again and soon.
I wish you the best in life and in love.
I remain your favorite girl RRY
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Why do I keep writing these articles? Because I love you.
Until I come your way next time…
- THE THREATENING FRIEND ROLE
If Gabby has been worried about his weight, it really doesn’t make it any easier if Gabby’s best friend is the hot six pack guy next door-the one always getting attention from girls.
I can almost bet with my life’s savings it doesn’t take Gabby’s friend anything to take off his shirt whether its at the beach or the pool but when Gabby is asked to take-off his jacket, he says “Man’s not hot”… I mean a brother has his insecurities to protect against onlookers. Don’t you agree?)
Gabby gets so worried about his weight/appearance and decides to buy smaller shirts that would spur him into setting goals for himself.
He spends so much time looking at the possible outfit he would rock if only he looses the weight.
Gabby determined and hopeful like never before, decides to show his friend the outfit he intends buying.
His friend giggled and mocked: You can’t wear that, your big stomach will be hanging all over the place.
*Help me answer this*
Has this in any way helped in building Gabby’s self-esteem?
I know you just answered NO
It shows your brain is functioning well.
(oya chop knuckle)
Raise your hands if you’ve ever felt inferior at a certain period in your life…OK!
I mean if you’ve ever felt less than enough or at least less than complete compare to the rest of the world?
No one’s rasing their hands? Not even once?
I’m raising both hands though.
I just got a whisper in my ear that someone is in the midst of an inferiority complex as we speak.
Just relax baby, I dedicate this article to you with love.
I’M NOT PROUD OF MY-SELF DISORDER!
Let’s start by defining what INFERIORITY COMPLEX means.
According to RRY (2018)…
“Inferiority complex is the art and science of constantly hiding/covering, burying your head in shame, probably because of something you don’t like about yourself or an experience that left some scars on you and as a result, you suffer shame.
In a nutshell, if there’s SOMETHING on your body you aren’t proud of and because of that, you are in a state of always trying so hard to hide it from the rest of the world.
The moment someone notices, it leaves you overwhelmed/threatened or you go defensive attempting to secure your flaw (imperfection) from the stare of people.
(I beg your pardon if my definition falls short of your intellectual prowess. Feel free to help a sister)
Sweetheart, let’s call a spade a spade! take it from me, you ain’t proud of that thing and my diagnosis reveals you are suffering from inferiority complex.”
IT’s TIME TO DEAL WITH It: Period!
Life may have made you feel bad about yourself.
Your background may have not been fair to you.
Some of you, a man just took your self-esteem, set it ablaze while you watched every inch of it burn to flames.
Some of you may have survived the fire perhaps, but not the effect of the burn.
Others, as a result of one physical limitation or the other, they are left confounded when in public.
But I assure you, there’s STILL a king in you.
I feel the need to say this:
You are perfect just the way you are.
Guess what? You are perfect for your assignment just the way you are.
Before we take a step further…
Say this after me..
RIRY, there’s a king in you
(Insert your name) and say it well enough unitl it’s comfortably seated in every fibre of your being.
After that is done, believe so because it’s true.
Some of you may feel like you dont look good enough and it’s even worse if amongst your siblings, God decided to make you the cross bearer (Jesus’s plight)
That’s why you ended up with the bigger nose, ugly voice, the fat tummy, lanky legs, dull skin, Fat-Flat-butt, the K-leg, the Canoe-leg, name it all..
Some of you feel like you ain’t so smart.
Or you may be thinking, I don’t speak good enough English.
LISTEN UP Baby!
It is time to stop paying so much attention to what you think its wrong and focus more on what’s right.
You hear me?
THE ‘I’M LIKE THAT’ SYNDROME…
If you spent years in the vicinity of people calling you names and making constant degrading comments about you.
It is only a matter of time and you will find yourself repeating the same negative statements you heard many times.
It’s a saddening reality that not all of us have had the good fortune to grow up in a nurturing, encouraging, self-worth stimulating environment. In fact, many people including me had to live through psychological torture and also deal with the opposite of a “pro self-esteem” childhood.
(Many experts agree that children with a “positive self-esteem” will enter their critical teen years with a social behaviour advantage)
If only we were taught in an early age about self worth, self esteem and self-respect, alot of things we are going through now would have been averted.
(If God grants you the opportunity of having children, make the difference in their lives)
If I HAD KNOWN BETTER.
I met two ladies sometime in the city of Jos.
They were (twins) I was told.
Stranger twin they were (dizygotic)
It took a lot of convincing for me to believe they were even related, much less, a set of twins. I mean they had no resemblance whatsoever like the regular ones we see around. (Monozygotic)
As a matter of fact, the only thing obvious about them was the fact that they had a striking dissemblance (dissimilarity)
I couldn’t help but notice how distinctively beautiful one among the twin was, she was physically more attractive and appealing to the eye far-more than her sister.
Mehn…! That lady was damn too pretty .
Her skin was glowing like the brilliance that exudes from precious stones.
She was healthy, in shape, tall and just pretty.
She had a pointed nose like the edge of an arrow.
If you are like me, You are already thinking her sister’s was the same.
Well, not quite. It was just there.
Not so pointed and not completely flat either.
Jokingly, I said…”what part of the womb did you stay that you allowed your twin sis pack everything? Fine nose oh, slim body oh, fine shape join.
That was suppose to be a joke right? But now that I know better, I knew I must have dropped some hot coals on her self-esteem.
If I could re-live that day, I would not say any of that.
You know why?
Because… Each time they gave a compliment to her gorgeous sister (which was almost impossible for anyone not to do so upon gazing her)
What that did to her not-so-gorgeous sister was that it kept highlighting her “imperfection.”
Each time her sister was reminded of her beauty, her brain reminded her of how ugly the world thought she was.
Not that she didn’t matter, it was that she mattered less.
And that was why it hurt the most.
You see, this thing can mess up someone’s confidence.
Before she knew it, inferiority complex had eaten deep into her soul that each time she was in public, she would conceal her opinion on any matter (even if she had an inclination on the subject being discussed)
Why would she do that?
1. For fear of being judged.
2. To void drawing attention so they don’t notice all her physical frailties.
… Perhaps for fear of people mocking or laughing at her and so she would shut up.
The world in it’s entirety is merit-based and whether you believe it or not, its hard to ignore something pretty.
That’s why it’s pointless depending on people’s approval or endorsement before doing anything.
Don’t stress yourself.
I know that;
The more people keep pointing out your imperfection (s), the more obvious and aware of that situation you will become.
Sometimes people cannot help but notice the very thing about you that you hate the most or aren’t so proud of.
That’s the world’s problem baby, don’t make it yours too.
I WILL TELL YOU WHAT!
If you get in-to their team and begin to hate your leg, hate your nose, hate your voice, hate your small body, hate your bag of bones, hate your fat leg, name all) that’s only gonna destroy YOU and make you more aware of your flaw rather than concentrate on your strength.
The whole of it baby…
Love what God gave you and love it well.
Because he thought you could handle it that’s why he allowed it.
Whatever you dont have, perhaps it’s cos you don’t need it.
God gave you everything he thought you would need so quit wishing you were someone else.
Because quite frankly, you can’t be anyone else better than being you.
Trying to be someone or something you are not is an expensive life. Guess what? It is cheaper to be you.
I was in a class back in 2015.
The name of the course was Personal Transformation (by the way, ain’t that about the coolest course name you’ve ever heard) *Insert~Smiley
Well, without overally being dramatic, the lecturer told us to bring out our writing materials and pen down all the things we didn’t like about ourselves. At this point, if you’re like me, you would probably be hiding your book from onlookers because that was what I did (why should you know what I don’t like about myself) so you can use it against me? You think I don’t know you?
Whilst we were at it, we were also instructed to pen down all the ones we loved about ourselves. (sounds better huh?)
Upon getting the assignment done, he told us to each look keenly to the ones we hated (don’t like) and then highlight the ones that could be changed and the ones that wouldn’t.
(till Jesus comes.) Rude awakening!
For instance: if you have a bore-leg, maybe a big nose, perhaps it could even be that you hate your complexion or an aggressive ‘Ogbomosho’ mark on your face.
What about the scar on your body?
That can’t be changed, can it?
Did I hear someone mentioning plastic surgery?
Well… Good luck with that.
He further admonished us by saying ‘hating what you cannot change is sequel to crying over a burnt cookie which is already burnt anyways.
Albeit, he did say, prayerfully (if need be) we MUST learn to LOVE everything and embrace OURSELVES FULLY because truthfully, our physical realities will not be going nowhere; hating it not withstanding.
It may interest you to know that; that was my turning point!
At once, I repented from hating all that I didn’t like about me and began to embrace the whole of me. (I pray you do same)
I’ll tell you what to work on.
a. Your pradigm, (your mindset) the excellency of your mind is so important because your life will inevitably play out your thought patterns.
The results you are getting is a derivative of your mindset.
Apostle Joshua Selman “
In other words, if you don’t like the results you are getting, change your paradigm, change the things you look at, change your thinking.
b. Work on being valuable
c. Work on being thorough.
Being excellent at all levels. (Have a resentment for being average and a mediocre)
My mentor Apostle Joshua Selman has sounded this well-enough, so much I see his face anytime I attempt to do otherwise.
d. Work on being diligent, dependable.
e. Get wisdom and knowledge.
f. Get information.
Bishop Oyedepo says: an informed person is a reformed person, while an uninformed person is a deformed person.
Still to come:)
Please watch out for the best ways to tackle inferiority complex once for all to be published here on momentswithrry.com
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Many thanks for being a part of this blog.
I remain your favorite girl RRY.
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See you another time…
1. Feeding His-Love-Tank More Than He’s Doing Yours.
One of the most wonderful things about women is how naturally caring they are.
When we love a man, we want to do any and EVERYTHING to make sure he knows how we feel about him.
You’re always there for your guy. You look after him. You always make time for him. You are so generous and enthusiastic. You’d do anything for him.
You never realize that, in the process…
You’re actually taking something away from him. You’re taking away his hero instinct. A man would appreciate all the care you are giving him but also, he would love to be the hero.
When you end up doing the things he should be doing, he’s left helpless and “useless” to you.
Sometimes when you give so much love and attention, you will end up choking a man because their love tank is not as huge as yours.
Instead of getting him to reciprocate, he might end up running away. Do I have a witness?)
You don’t want to be going out there chasing him relentlessly and over-investing, when he’s not investing in you. You are putting your whole effort while all he does is that little bit of effort just every now and again.
Why should he put in just one percent when you are actually putting in a ten. That actually doesn’t feel really good.
2. No Closure..
Flee from a man who cannot keep his commitment on seemingly small matters like keeping up to an appointment. He said he would come visit and he didn’t, yet he would not apologise.
He was suppose to call back, he didn’t and couldn’t say why..
Instead of opening up, he would leave you stravig for answers.
Ocholi Okutepa puts it nicely”as a lady, you are not the needy, you are the needed“.
3. An Expert At Disappearing.
So you guys went out on an amazing date and everything went well. He dropped you home and promised to call but a day turned into a week and he never did.
He left you floating around the cloud; re-playing in your mind how the magical date had went the other day.
When you picked up the challenge to call and give him a benefit of the doubt, he gave a flimsy excuse. (too much work on his desk or that he’s been way-too busy with this and that..)
But then again, you texted him hello and made a funny joke from your date, and got no reply…
It was then you knew it was official: He had disappeared.(again)
You may be asking, why do they abruptly disappear and ignore me even after a seemingly “amazing date”
Sweetheart, ain’t nothing wrong with you alright, maybe it’s time you go with what Ocholi Okutepa suggested.
His advice is simple
“Stop acting like the needy and be the NEEDED that you ARE”
4. Back From The Dead.
This is when a guy who hasn’t messaged you in weeks all of a sudden sends you a message like this: “Hey sweetie. I can’t do without you.”
*Insert a frowny face because that’s what am doing)
what? Where in God’s name are you coming from?
This is a guy who decided to go off the radar without any adequate explanation, and then all of a sudden coming back to control the narrative because he feels like it in this moment.
(don’t fall for this Lil sweetness of his)
Instead: Turn the tables around and here’s what you should send: “Well, good for You .” and say no more.
And just in case your fingers are itching to type another reply… Send this. “Hahaha”
(it’s OK to get him confuse..
5. Delayed Replies.
When you two are together, you are thrilled at how quick he picks up his phone to type a reply to every beeb on his phone indicating the entrance of a new message.
Before he’s done responding to your conversation, he would have responded to at least 5 different messages from his mails, his FB posts, WhatsApp etc. In fact You are wondering why he should be giving the attention due to you to some strangers on his electronic device but you let it slide.(as a good girl that you are)
And then you expect the same treatment when you guys are not together but then you get the shock of your little life.
You are miles away and then send him a message and expects the same apt repaonse from him but nay… It takes him more than an hour to reply and sometimes till after two days or even a week.
And when he does, his responses are usually those short, abbreviated annoying messages. (Eg: howayu, thanks, hw ws ur day, I’m good dr, tkia 2)
I’m the love his life right? ( I thought so too baby)
He should at least have the decorum to type a decent message to me and be more affectionate. (that’s what good men should do right?) Yes!
Don’t worry baby, I understand… Take this tissue and wipe them tears. It will be alright soon. I promise! That’s why I’m here. To help you in any way possible…
... I’ve written a few tips on “how to avoid being disappointed.” I will publish it on Monday here on the blog so don’t miss out.
Ensure to keep tabs with us and share with those who need to read this.
Don’t thank me, my job is to make sure you are doing well.
Having said that, here’s a little conclusion…
If you’ve ever heard of the expression “action in inaction,” you’ll want to keep that in it mind here.
The concept is that NOT taking action and giving up control of a situation is sometimes the most powerful action you can take.
That’s because when one person in any interaction becomes the “convincer,” the other person will usually resist. It’s human nature, and you probably know it all too well from your experience with men.
Instead, the best thing you can do is to take the focus off needing to fix the situation and simply allow the space for him to naturally come forward.
I remain your favorite girl RRY... I WILL come again soon. I wish you the best in life and love.