WHEN LIFE GETS-IN-THE-WAY

Yes, it’s hard.
Life sometimes can get so overwhelming so much it compels us into thinking, ‘will this ever be over?’
Can I get through this? And when exactly?

“When you worry your face will frown”…
Lines from a song… ?

Yes, there are times you won’t understand.
Yes, you will have moments where you feel like nothing is working out.

I’ve personally been fighting some battles in recent times, not physical though, (battles in my mind and environment) and I tell you, these battles sometimes threaten to choke out the life outta me but I keep shouting… “No Way”

Being joyful is a heart condition!

John puts it nicely in John 14:1
“Do not let your hearts be troubled.

You believe in God; believe also in me.

For some of us, you might not relate with this article and that’s OK, perhaps you have never experienced any challenge in your life.
Well, this article goes out to everyone whose been fighting some unseen battles.
For those…
*Crying in the secret while sharing smiles in the open.
Crying bouts when no one’s watching.

Don’t cry baby…

Getting stuck with the same results time and time again.

Pressures from your job, your family, your marriage…etcetera.

Feeling alone in this big complicated world.

I pray this for you ” May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:1)

My dearest, lemme tell you something.

You will meet with alot of obstacles on your way to greatness. ALOT.

Challenges will come oh.
They are a count-on-it-experience so it’s better to put up structures that will help you handle them when they come.
The question is not ‘if they will come’ but ‘when’ because they will.

It gets frustrsting and I know that.
But that’s not the point I’m trying to drive home.
My question to you is… who are you clinging to?
When it gets too hard, who do you run to?

Have you seen what Psalm 56:3 says?
Well, I will just quote it right up for the sake of those too lazy to check it up.. Lol
It says…
” When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Lord)

When life throws blows at you, it’s no time to start blaming people or running away from God, it is time to draw closer and more closer… He’s the only reliable person you have.

It’s time to start clinging to God & not man! Not your bank account, not your business, not your degrees, not your spouce, not your salary, not your whatever else!

So, I pray that this short blog reminds you to trust in the Lord and not in what you see. We must finally start maturing in this walk and stop seeking the “quick way out.”
Let’s get to applying and stop coveting everybody else’s progress.
Hear me, YOU are as close to God as you want to be.
I just love how James puts it: “Come close to God and He will come close to you. (James 4:8a AMP)

I’m not trying to be churchy because I sense someone misinterpreting my intentions.
See enh, in this our world today, you cannot get by successfully and still have your peace without the Lord.
How do you even want to get by through life?

By Your own efforts? Your strategies? Through science? Your own strengths? Hogwash!

It’s not about being religious, it’s about complete trust in the Lord and having a genuine heart.

God loves you like crazy-believe me, and he wants to see you happy, successful and enjoying the peace that comes from His throne of grace customised for you.

JUST A SIMPLE REMINDER:
You do not need X to be happy in your life.
Sometimes all you have to be grateful for is that you ‘Have Air in your Lungs.’ 
Wealth is good… (very GOOD)
Getting a good car is beautiful.
Living in an expensive, gorgeous house is amazing.
* Having the money to pay ALL your bills with EASE, is probably the most exciting feeling in the world… However, that’s not what I’m saying, I want you to know today that having a mega-successful life is not the only way to enjoy life.

See Phillipians 4:4

AMP: “Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice! (take note of the emphasy) 

Life is short mehn…
Make the most of it while you can. (so help me God)

 

Many thanks again for being a part of this blog.

I appreciate that you spare from your precious time to read and drop a comment.

Please remember to like and also share with others.
Remember! You can drop in your questions or suggestions in the comment section below this post.

I will come your way again and soon.
I wish you the best in life and in love.
I remain your favorite girl RRY
#StaySafe

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Also, I appreciate that you read and drop a comment but most importantly, PLEASE SUBSCRIBE if you aren’t a subscriber already.
Again! Many thanks for being a part of the blog.

Why do I keep writing these articles? Because I love you.

I love you all my faithful audience

Smiles)::
Until I come your way next time…
#StaySafe

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Two THINGS EVERY MAN MUST KNOW ABOUT HIS WOMAN!

What She Secretly Desires But May Not Say.

Take it from me, a woman’s number one need is not SEX. To hell with this shit! (welcome to a woman’s world?)

Ever felt so frustrated with your woman?

So much that you are on the verge of giving up on that “Once upon a time” hot romance you both had going?

Well, it’s called being human so don’t worry about it…we’re in this together alright? And I’m here to proper a solution so come closer and listen up, closerrr…yes baby – that’s OK!

Listen to what she’s about to reveal to you:
Hey dude..
1. MY NUMBER ONE NEED Is AFFECTION!

Affection it is period!

A woman was created to be loved-period!

That includes love, compassion, care, maximum care, attention… (Our needs are many, forgive us). I can sense that a brother just misunderstood my point so “lemme” clear things up quickly…I said affection… NOT sex (I don’t know why your ear heard a different thing).
With that out of the way, let’s continue. Affection doesn’t have to be sex. It’s OK to just buy her flowers, or whatever she likes on some regular days.

Don’t wait till it’s Christmas, your anniversary or the obvious one which is “her birthday” before you surprise her.

Haba! You are more than that brother.

I know you are way-smarter!
Some of you don’t even know what your woman likes (shame on you!).

* Make Her Feel Needed
Another way of showing your woman affection is to make her feel she’s needed. You have to constantly validate to your woman the things you love about her, make her feel beautiful without questioning her position in your heart.
Sometimes!
Sometimes!
Just kiss her passionately, touch her, hug her, play around and leave her alone. (Learn to be touchy-feely without sex).
Be generous with your compliments… (Words are free; I don’t know why some brothers have to be stingy even with free stuff).
Oh Lward have mercy! Repent!

2. NOTICE THE LITTLE THINGS.

Dear gentleman,
Every woman wants to be noticed by her man!
A 65year old woman was counseling me one time and her revelation sent some chills down my spine.
She said, “Since after our marriage 40 years ago, my husband never gave a complement.”
With a grin on her face she said, “I make my hair for myself; my husband doesn’t notice I’ve got a new one on.”
I felt pity for her. Even at that age, you could still see that a simple “You look so lovely mummy” made her excited.

* Compliment Her

A woman cannot resist a simple ‘your new hairstyle looks gorgeous’

Make sure you remind your woman that she’s attractive whenever you get the chance and if need be, make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world.
New hairstyle? New clothes? New dress size? New bra?

Use your words to your advantage guys

Say something to acknowledge her effort…she after all (partially) did it for you!

What a woman wants to hear is that you notice her specifically.

Hear how “Stefanie Safran, matchmaker and founder of Stef in The City. Puts it nicely “If she has been spending more time putting on makeup and clothes, at the gym, or getting a new hair cut/color, compliment her on that.

Noticing and giving this kind of compliment can show that you are paying attention, which is what every woman wants.” And for more great relationship advice, check out the male version of this article What Every Woman Must Know About Men! 

(Still to come) 

If you enjoyed this article, please share with your family, colleagues friends, especially your male folks.

Operation saveTheMaleFolk

Well… With that out of the way, I feel the urge to inform you guys that Something has been baking in the oven and I can’t wait until I’m able to share with you guys.

GUESS WHAT? I’ve been working on an Ebook with the TITLE: “10 THINGS MEN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WOMEN!”
… I mean ain’t that about the coolest Ebook Title you’ve heard this year? LOL)

The Ebook

Is someone excited?
Well, ANTICIPATE and keep tabs with us here on the blog to avoid missing out on new exciting stuff.

Many thanks again for being a part of this blog.
Remember! You can drop in your questions or suggestions in the comment section below this post.

I will come your way again and soon.
I wish you the best in life and in love.
I remain your favorite girl RRY
#StaySafe

Please if you haven’t subscribed to the blog, ensure you do so by clicking on the subscribe button, just log in your Email and send.
Also, I appreciate that you read and drop a comment but most importantly, PLEASE SUBSCRIBE if you aren’t a subscriber already.
Agian! Many thanks for being a part of the blog.

I love you all my faithful audience
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WHEN ENVY TAKES OVER! Simple Ways To Destroy Being Jealous!

Raise Your Hands if you’ve EVER been envious of Someone’s Life, Property, Connections, maybe their Job or generally all that they represent… Let me see your hands up if you’ve being in that position before?

Hey! Don’t feel bad just yet! You’re re simply being human and I have been in that circle too.
So don’t think you’re alone.

Envy is what I sequel to getting hungry. In other words, being caught up in envy is a count-on-it-experience.

RiRY why do you say so?
Because: as humans, It is always in our nature to constantly want and desire what we do not have.
Do I have me a partner?

WELCOME TO BEING HUMAN:
Sometimes, we are in a hurry to check out a particular phase or chapter in our lives so we can usher in another.
That’s why some single-folks are wishing they could get married. Whereas, some married people would pay any amount to become single again.

You know why?

Because, there is an unsearchable desire in a man that only God has the ability to truly satisfy. (the word man used in this context is generic) Take note!

If you don’t check it, envy will subtly creep-in and set your soul ablaze. It’s hunger that would rather feed on its own heart while it sets hot-coals on the success of others.

As a means of destroying every form of envy from my proximity, I place myself on a check-up-scale to constantly examine every fibre in me to ensure I’ve not been entangled in a circle of envy or jealousy towards anyone or anything.

The moment I’m bringing that regular session to a conclusion, any trace of ENVY is sure to be dealt with accordingly with the help of the HOLY SPIRIT of course.

On my own, I’m able to do nothing except to mess things up. *Insert Smiley*
It’s a wise thing to do isn’t it?
Would you try it?

The book of Romans nicely puts it: “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.

Romans 8:26(b)

Permit me to use “You” as a pronoun to establish this little example on envy to help us contextualise what I’m trying to say:
Ready?
Ok then! Picture this with me:


You and Lisa were signed up in a competition to determine the “Most creative Writer” in your organisation.
Votes were casted, decisions were made and conclusions were drawn.

The results however, came to you as a shock because Lisa was considered to be the most creative writer over you.

If you are like me, your head is probably spinning at the torrent of events wondering to yourself ; how can this be true? I thought I was better than Lisa…Why should anyone fail to comprehend this fact?

ACTING LIKE A GOOD FRIEND!
While Lisa was rewarded with a brand new car, all you got was a “handshake”

Lisa being your friend expects you to be excited and celebrate with her

like every good friend would. Meanwhile, you are so consumed with disappointment, envy, and perhaps rage thinking about why she was chosen over you.

I can almost bet with my life’s-savings that you are there probably thinking all the why’s in the world:


* Why should Lisa be considered more creative and not me?
* Why is she over there laughing? Could Lisa be mocking me?
* Why are all these good things happening to her and not me?
I want her life. I want it all.

Hey! Not so fast baby.
Slow down and quiet the noise.

You would have noticed that unlike Lisa, you are a bit timid and less confident. Perhaps a little bit insecure.

This is because jealousy and envy are not common feelings for secure people.
Confident people know their worth, and they don’t feel the need to compare themselves to others.

Joy is a state of mind

My question is: for how long will you nurture the torture of comparing yourself to that of your friends, colleagues, relatives, etcetera?
I think it’s time you wave envy a generous goodbye and end it for good.

TAKE HOME:
Be secured;
* In your ability, your strength, what you can do and be sincere to yourself on the ones you aren’t good at.
* Be confident.
* Be contended.
* Be your own boss.

Reject the fear of someone else doing better than you.

DISCOVER that which only you can do it better than anyone else in the entire universe and get on with it.

Someone is wondering to himself; how can I be the ONLY ONE good at a particular thing with all the people there are in the entire universe?

Well, there are many designers but not every one of them is permitted to design for queen Elizabeth)
#selah

My question to you is: what are your gifts and abilities?
Why are you here on earth?
Have you discovered why?

Without being overally verbose, I’ll say this of a fact that “one surest way of keeping envy at bay is by publicly and unashamedly celebrating those who have gone ahead of you.”

(whether you like it or not, there will always be people who would have gone ahead of you and achieved something beyond your current level with such a significant gap but it doesn’t mean you too cannot be ahead some day.)

 

Be happy and rejoice with them knowing that one day and very soon, people will celebrate with you too.

(what is good for the goose, is good for the gander)

You may not be a star to the entire world but you can be in your own space.

Stay in your lane and shine like the brilliance that exudes from precious stones.
I believe in you and I can’t wait to celebrate your success.
Don’t give up on yourself!

I will come your way again and soon.
I wish you the best in life and in your endeavours.
I remain your favorite girl RRY
#StaySafe

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See related article on Inferiority Complex 

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SUFFERING WITH INFERIORITY COMPLEX? YOU SHOULD SEE THIS!

  1. THE THREATENING FRIEND ROLE

If Gabby has been worried about his weight, it really doesn’t make it any easier if Gabby’s best friend is the hot six pack guy next door-the one always getting attention from girls.


I can almost bet with my life’s savings it doesn’t take Gabby’s friend anything to take off his shirt whether its at the beach or the pool but when Gabby is asked to take-off his jacket, he says “Man’s not hot”… I mean a brother has his insecurities to protect against onlookers. Don’t you agree?)

                  PICTURE THIS:
Gabby gets so worried about his weight/appearance and decides to buy smaller shirts that would spur him into setting goals for himself.
He spends so much time looking at the possible outfit he would rock if only he looses the weight.

Gabby determined and hopeful like never before, decides to show his friend the outfit he intends buying.
His friend giggled and mocked: You can’t wear that, your big stomach will be hanging all over the place.

*Help me answer this*
Has this in any way helped in building Gabby’s self-esteem?
I know you just answered NO
It shows your brain is functioning well.

                      (oya chop knuckle)

 

INFERIORITY COMPLEX

 Raise your hands if you’ve ever felt inferior at a certain period in your life…OK!

I mean if you’ve ever felt less than enough or at least less than complete compare to the rest of the world?

No one’s rasing their hands? Not even once?

I’m raising both hands though.
I just got a whisper in my ear that someone is in the midst of an inferiority complex as we speak.
Just relax baby, I dedicate this article to you with love.

I’M NOT PROUD OF MY-SELF DISORDER!

Let’s start by defining what INFERIORITY COMPLEX means.
According to RRY (2018)…
“Inferiority complex is the art and science of constantly hiding/covering, burying your head in shame, probably because of something you don’t like about yourself or an experience that left some scars on you and as a result, you suffer shame.

In a nutshell, if there’s SOMETHING on your body you aren’t proud of and because of that, you are in a state of always trying so hard to hide it from the rest of the world.

The moment someone notices, it leaves you overwhelmed/threatened or you go defensive attempting to secure your flaw (imperfection) from the stare of people.

(I beg your pardon if my definition falls short of your intellectual prowess. Feel free to help a sister) 

Sweetheart, let’s call a spade a spade! take it from me, you ain’t proud of that thing and my diagnosis reveals you are suffering from inferiority complex.”

IT’s TIME TO DEAL WITH It: Period!

Life may have made you feel bad about yourself.
Your background may have not been fair to you.
Some of you, a man just took your self-esteem, set it ablaze while you watched every inch of it burn to flames.

Some of you may have survived the fire perhaps, but not the effect of the burn.
Others, as a result of one physical limitation or the other, they are left confounded when in public.
But I assure you, there’s STILL a king in you.

I feel the need to say this:
You are perfect just the way you are.
Guess what? You are perfect for your assignment just the way you are.

Before we take a step further…
Say this after me..
RIRY, there’s a king in you
(Insert your name) and say it well enough unitl it’s comfortably seated in every fibre of your being.
After that is done, believe so because it’s true.

Some of you may feel like you dont look good enough and it’s even worse if amongst your siblings, God decided to make you the cross bearer (Jesus’s plight)
That’s why you ended up with the bigger nose, ugly voice, the fat tummy, lanky legs, dull skin, Fat-Flat-butt, the K-leg, the Canoe-leg, name it all..
Some of you feel like you ain’t so smart.
Or you may be thinking, I don’t speak good enough English.

LISTEN UP Baby!
It is time to stop paying so much attention to what you think its wrong and focus more on what’s right.
You hear me?

THE ‘I’M LIKE THAT’ SYNDROME…

If you spent years in the vicinity of people calling you names and making constant degrading comments about you.

It is only a matter of time and you will find yourself repeating the same negative statements you heard many times.

It’s a saddening reality that not all of us have had the good fortune to grow up in a nurturing, encouraging, self-worth stimulating environment. In fact, many people including me had to live through psychological torture and also deal with the opposite of a “pro self-esteem” childhood.

(Many experts agree that children with a “positive self-esteem” will enter their critical teen years with a social behaviour advantage)

If only we were taught in an early age about self worth, self esteem and self-respect, alot of things we are going through now would have been averted.
(If God grants you the opportunity of having children, make the difference in their lives)

If I HAD KNOWN BETTER.
I met two ladies sometime in the city of Jos.
They were (twins) I was told.
Stranger twin they were (dizygotic)
It took a lot of convincing for me to believe they were even related, much less, a set of twins. I mean they had no resemblance whatsoever like the regular ones we see around. (Monozygotic)

As a matter of fact, the only thing obvious about them was the fact that they had a striking dissemblance (dissimilarity)

I couldn’t help but notice how distinctively beautiful one among the twin was, she was physically more attractive and appealing to the eye far-more than her sister.

Mehn…! That lady was damn too pretty .

Her skin was glowing like the brilliance that exudes from precious stones.
She was healthy, in shape, tall and just pretty.

She had a pointed nose like the edge of an arrow.
If you are like me, You are already thinking her sister’s was the same.
Well, not quite. It was just there.
Not so pointed and not completely flat either.

Jokingly, I said…”what part of the womb did you stay that you allowed your twin sis pack everything? Fine nose oh, slim body oh, fine shape join.
That was suppose to be a joke right? But now that I know better, I knew I must have dropped some hot coals on her self-esteem.
If I could re-live that day, I would not say any of that.
You know why?

Because… Each time they gave a compliment to her gorgeous sister (which was almost impossible for anyone not to do so upon gazing her)

What that did to her not-so-gorgeous sister was that it kept highlighting her “imperfection.”

Each time her sister was reminded of her beauty, her brain reminded her of how ugly the world thought she was.
Not that she didn’t matter, it was that she mattered less.
And that was why it hurt the most.

You see, this thing can mess up someone’s confidence.
Before she knew it, inferiority complex had eaten deep into her soul that each time she was in public, she would conceal her opinion on any matter (even if she had an inclination on the subject being discussed)

Why would she do that?
1. For fear of being judged.
2. To void drawing attention so they don’t notice all her physical frailties.
Perhaps for fear of people mocking or laughing at her and so she would shut up.

KNOW THIS:
The world in it’s entirety is merit-based and whether you believe it or not, its hard to ignore something pretty.

That’s why it’s pointless depending on people’s approval or endorsement before doing anything.
Don’t stress yourself.

I know that;
The more people keep pointing out your imperfection (s), the more obvious and aware of that situation you will become.

Sometimes people cannot help but notice the very thing about you that you hate the most or aren’t so proud of.
That’s the world’s problem baby, don’t make it yours too.

I WILL TELL YOU WHAT!
If you get in-to their team and begin to hate your leg, hate your nose, hate your voice, hate your small body, hate your bag of bones, hate your fat leg, name all) that’s only gonna destroy YOU and make you more aware of your flaw rather than concentrate on your strength.

MY ADVISE:
Love yourself.

The whole of it baby…
Love what God gave you and love it well.
Because he thought you could handle it that’s why he allowed it.
Whatever you dont have, perhaps it’s cos you don’t need it.
God gave you everything he thought you would need so quit wishing you were someone else.


Because quite frankly, you can’t be anyone else better than being you.

Trying to be someone or something you are not is an expensive life. Guess what? It is cheaper to be you.

I was in a class back in 2015.
The name of the course was Personal Transformation (by the way, ain’t that about the coolest course name you’ve ever heard) *Insert~Smiley

Well, without overally being dramatic, the lecturer told us to bring out our writing materials and pen down all the things we didn’t like about ourselves. At this point, if you’re like me, you would probably be hiding your book from onlookers because that was what I did (why should you know what I don’t like about myself) so you can use it against me? You think I don’t know you?
*insertSmiley*

Whilst we were at it, we were also instructed to pen down all the ones we loved about ourselves. (sounds better huh?)

Upon getting the assignment done, he told us to each look keenly to the ones we hated (don’t like) and then highlight the ones that could be changed and the ones that wouldn’t.
(till Jesus comes.) Rude awakening!

For instance: if you have a bore-leg, maybe a big nose, perhaps it could even be that you hate your complexion or an aggressive ‘Ogbomosho’ mark on your face.
What about the scar on your body?
That can’t be changed, can it?

Did I hear someone mentioning plastic surgery?
Well… Good luck with that.

He further admonished us by saying ‘hating what you cannot change is sequel to crying over a burnt cookie which is already burnt anyways.

Albeit, he did say, prayerfully (if need be) we MUST learn to LOVE everything and embrace OURSELVES FULLY because truthfully, our physical realities will not be going nowhere; hating it not withstanding.

*Insert-a-Smiley…

It may interest you to know that; that was my turning point!
At once, I repented from hating all that I didn’t like about me and began to embrace the whole of me. (I pray you do same)

I’ll tell you what to work on.
a. Your pradigm, (your mindset) the excellency of your mind is so important because your life will inevitably play out your thought patterns.


The results you are getting is a derivative of your mindset.
Apostle Joshua Selman “

In other words, if you don’t like the results you are getting, change your paradigm, change the things you look at, change your thinking.

b. Work on being valuable

c. Work on being thorough.

Being excellent at all levels. (Have a resentment for being average and a mediocre)
My mentor Apostle Joshua Selman has sounded this well-enough, so much I see his face anytime I attempt to do otherwise.

d. Work on being diligent, dependable.
e. Get wisdom and knowledge.

f. Get information.
Bishop Oyedepo says: an informed person is a reformed person, while an uninformed person is a deformed person.

Still to come:) 

Please watch out for the best ways to tackle inferiority complex once for all to be published  here on momentswithrry.com

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Here, we believe in giving every individual a voice that’s why we created a platform like this one to enable you air out your views on issues of concern to you.

Many thanks for being a part of this blog.
I remain your favorite girl RRY.

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See you another time…
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