I had a friend back in high school. Funny lady, if she didn’t like a person, she would expect that I don’t talk to them also.
Raise your hand if you’ve ve had the same experience in the past…) #insertsmile.
Friends that expect you to pledge allegiance and it didn’t matter even if they were doing the wrong thing.

A quarrel was a count-on-it experience if I dared disobey her wish by associating with people she had ‘x’ in her book.
(she has this imaginary black book)

It doesn’t have to be like that baby…
Don’t hate people because they sustain a different perspective from you.

If you like yam, I must not also like ‘your yam.’
If I love beans, Let me love my beans. Love me if you must, without forcing me to also fall for ‘your yam’.
Sombody say amen…)

Don’t fight someone because they have a thing for dressing well.

Dress How You Want To Be Addressed

If you don’t like ‘guy’, please don’t hate those who love it.

(guy in this context refers to a person who loves fashion. It’s a Nigerian slogan.)

There was this particula lady who came up to me a certain time saying she needed to have a chat with me.
I began suggesting possible reasons in my head why she might want a talk with me since we didn’t have a track record of friendship with her.

I’m talking about ladies with the Mandela kinda zeal: too serious to give a decent smile and certainly too zealous to wear anything other than a long-skirt that accompanied each time she walked.
I mean the Kings business requires haste right?
No Time for Jokers Like Us):hmmn!

With that out of the way, back to our story:
She said, I can see that you love God BUT you need to stop wearing trouser’ and dressing like a WORLDLY lady.

Did she just say “worldly?” oh my goodness!
Well I forgive you since this term is relative based on an individuals perspective.
(some people condemn those who dress well to mean they are “worldly”…)

(Dressing decently is what I advocate for and as a matter of fact, everyone ought to be doing same) but calling someone who wears trouser’, earrings, wigs etcetera “WORLDY”, that to me is what I call being silly.
(she tagged me as being “worldly” for wearing trousers.
Oh Lward have mercy!

Mi Lady, I feel the need to say this right here;
please respect people’s differences and perspectives.
Imagine with me for a minute if every single person that walked on this earth was just like you, you and you?

Do you now see what a mess that would have been?

For instance: if you were a sadist, everybody else would have been just like you.

If you were a jokester, the whole world would be filled with depleted folks and there would have been no heroes to look up to.

If you are one with the mandela-kinda zeal, who would make us laugh so hard like Trevor Noah does so beautifully?

Do you no see why we all can’t be like each other?

Thank you for understanding my point.

(Praise the Lord…)

There is so much beauty in our diversification.

Embracing You

What we need to do is embrace each other. 

Instead of looking out for the differences, let’s look our for our uniqueness and see how we can each turn every single one of them to something beneficial.

In the words of a great mentor Apostle Joshua Selman… “if the whole world is like you, the world would be a boring place to live in” (ain’t that about the truest thing you’ve heard today?) *insertSmile

If she loves makeup, don’t judge or hate her for loving what you don’t like.


If she doesn’t like make-up, don’t hate her for wanting it natural. Don’t even call her bush either.

(What is good for the goose is good for the gander they say, in this case, its not the same…

Listen Up!
Be you and let someone else be themselves.

Life is that simple! Don’t complicate it…

Beauty in diversity


I just heard someone say ‘RRY’ please do…
Alright then.. Here it is;
Don’t fight people who have a different belief as yours.
Learn to accommodate people’s differences whilst you sustain your own beliefs, character and conviction.
Stop harassing people TO BE or ACT like you.
Truth is, Not everybody will be like you so hey; GeT-Over-It.

So my question for you today is:::
Who Have You been Judging?
Who do you hate because they aren’t like you?

I appreciate when you read and drop a comment.

See you another time, I remain your favorite girl RRY…
Many thanks for being a part of this blog.

Have you read “FAMILY FIRST“?
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WHAT TO DO WHEN HE’S PULLING AWAY:Tips On How To Avoid Being Disappointed!!

In my little life, I’ve seen alot of women go through needless hurt  and truly, it breaks my heart. I mean how do you look at the thing you love so much and tell yourself it’s time to Walk Away…? 

Well, sometimes you need to stop putting in so much effort when all he does is pull a step back each time you do.

Perhaps, you could intoduce what we call the paradoxical Intervention… Please don’t ask me what that is because I’m not about to explain (maybe another day… *InsertSmile

I will tell you that pulling away is very common for a man, even in the best of relationships.

However, what matters here is not that the man is pulling away…

What I’m more interested about is how You  HANDLE the situation when he does.

How do you usually respond when a man pulls away? Do you get upset and react out of fear to the problem he’s creating?


YOU calm down like the lady you are and try to bring up a solution?

Women are experts at sensing that a relationship is about to hit the rock… But more so, they are experts at introducing what I call The-Fix-It-Mode…

Not everything needs to be fixed… Sometimes all you should do is do nothing.

(she wants to do any and EVERYTHING she can to fix the problem) not so fast baby. ..

Before you start fighting tool and nail to salvage the “situationship or relationship”, or whatever the case maybe for you, you might need to see a few things I’ve written that will help you “avoid being disappointed TIME and TIME AGAIN. 

First Thing’ First…

* Be convinced a man is worth your TIME AND the risk before you invest your whole life into him.  Ensure you are not putting in too much than he’s willing to reciprocate.

Where You Are Not Needed, LEAVE!

* If he was sincere enough to open up and say “He’s Not Ready: Find out the best way to communicate your needs without SCARING him off or putting pressure on him.


* Do not be deceived that sleeping with a man will get him to commit.

A man can have sex with a lady he doesn’t love that’s why sex is not the solution. 

… If the pureness of your heart couldn’t, certainly your legs, your beautiful “firm” breast, not even your butt (or whatever you think is right on your body) would get the job done. So my dear, close those legs. (better a broken heart than a broken leg.

* Don’t over do. Just keep things Warm.
It’s important to strike a balance between showing you’re into him and showing you’re not too needy.

Where-ever, Whenever Be The Boss…

If he texts you after a couple of days, don’t leave it too long to respond or he’ll assume you’re not bothered.

Engage in a few texts back and forth, throw in a little drama but don’t get sidetracked into endless conversation… or it will get stale and you’ll lose any mystery. (as a woman, you should be an expert in adding mystery to spice things up)

You want to leave him a reason to get in touch again or to schedule another date to talk in person. So don’t waste all your good conversation on Facebook and WhatsApp.

Also, while you shouldn’t be afraid to text him first, don’t do it every time or it will put you in the position of always being the one chasing. Let him be the one to make first contact sometimes – it will let you know if he’s actually into you or not.
Don’t Jump too quickly.

* And lastly, make sure your actions are not doing the opposite of what you desire (putting-him-off instead of pushing him closer to your heart where he should be.

I sincerely pray for you that God gives you the love you desire and most importantly, the wisdom required to keep it.

I hope you found this article helpful.

I appreciate when you read and drop a comment.

Also, share with family and friends that need to read this.

Many thanks.. .

I remain your favorite girl RRY… I WILL come again soon. I wish you the best in life and love.

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LOOKING DEEPER: 5 Things That Indicate He’s Not As Committed As You Are…

1. Feeding His-Love-Tank More Than He’s Doing Yours.
One of the most wonderful things about women is how naturally caring they are.
When we love a man, we want to do any and EVERYTHING to make sure he knows how we feel about him.

You’re always there for your guy. You look after him. You always make time for him. You are so generous and enthusiastic. You’d do anything for him.
You never realize that, in the process…

You’re actually taking something away from him. You’re taking away his hero instinct. A man would appreciate all the care you are giving him but also, he would love to be the hero.
When you end up doing the things he should be doing, he’s left helpless and “useless” to you.
Sometimes when you give so much love and attention, you will end up choking a man because their love tank is not as huge as yours.
Instead of getting him to reciprocate, he might end up running away. Do I have a witness?)

You don’t want to be going out there chasing him relentlessly and over-investing, when he’s not investing in you. You are putting your whole effort while all he does is that little bit of effort just every now and again.
Why should he put in just one percent when you are actually putting in a ten. That actually doesn’t feel really good.

2. No Closure..
Flee from a man who cannot keep his commitment on seemingly small matters like keeping up to an appointment. He said he would come visit and he didn’t, yet he would not apologise.
He was suppose to call back, he didn’t and couldn’t say why..
Instead of opening up, he would leave you stravig for answers.
Ocholi Okutepa puts it nicely”as a lady, you are not the needy, you are the needed“.

3. An Expert At Disappearing.
So you guys went out on an amazing date and everything went well. He dropped you home and promised to call but a day turned into a week and he never did.
He left you floating around the cloud; re-playing in your mind how the magical date had went the other day.
When you picked up the challenge to call and give him a benefit of the doubt, he gave a flimsy excuse. (too much work on his desk or that he’s been way-too busy with this and that..)

But then again, you texted him hello and made a funny joke from your date, and got no reply…
It was then you knew it was official: He had disappeared.(again)
You may be asking, why do they abruptly disappear and ignore me even after a seemingly “amazing date”

Sweetheart, ain’t nothing wrong with you alright, maybe it’s time you go with what Ocholi Okutepa suggested.
His advice is simple
“Stop acting like the needy and be the NEEDED that you ARE”

4. Back From The Dead.
This is when a guy who hasn’t messaged you in weeks all of a sudden sends you a message like this: “Hey sweetie. I can’t do without you.”
*Insert a frowny face because that’s what am doing)

Acting Like The Needed That You Are…

what? Where in God’s name are you coming from?

This is a guy who decided to go off the radar without any adequate explanation, and then all of a sudden coming back to control the narrative because he feels like it in this moment.
(don’t fall for this Lil sweetness of his)
Instead: Turn the tables around and here’s what you should send: “Well, good for You .” and say no more.

And just in case your fingers are itching to type another reply… Send this. “Hahaha”

(it’s OK to get him confuse.. 

Don’t rush him, let him rush you.. It’s called self-worth

5. Delayed Replies.
When you two are together, you are thrilled at how quick he picks up his phone to type a reply to every beeb on his phone indicating the entrance of a new message.
Before he’s done responding to your conversation, he would have responded to at least 5 different messages from his mails, his FB posts, WhatsApp etc. In fact You are wondering why he should be giving the attention due to you to some strangers on his electronic device but you let it slide.(as a good girl that you are)

Maintaining a proper sense of decorum.

And then you expect the same treatment when you guys are not together but then you get the shock of your little life.
You are miles away and then send him a message and expects the same apt repaonse from him but nay… It takes him more than an hour to reply and sometimes till after two days or even a week.

And when he does, his responses are usually those short, abbreviated annoying messages. (Eg: howayu, thanks, hw ws ur day, I’m good dr, tkia 2)
I’m the love his life right? ( I thought so too baby)
He should at least have the decorum to type a decent message to me and be more affectionate. (that’s what good men should do right?) Yes! 

Don’t worry baby, I understand… Take this tissue and wipe them tears. It will be alright soon. I promise!  That’s why I’m here. To help you in any way possible…

If you’re hurting, I’m hurt too. I’m here to help you.

... I’ve written a few tips on “how to avoid being disappointed.” I will publish it on Monday here on the blog so don’t miss out.

Ensure to keep tabs with us and share with those who need to read this. 
Don’t thank me, my job is to make sure you are doing well.

Having said that, here’s a little conclusion…

If you’ve ever heard of the expression “action in inaction,” you’ll want to keep that in it mind here.
The concept is that NOT taking action and giving up control of a situation is sometimes the most powerful action you can take.
That’s because when one person in any interaction becomes the “convincer,” the other person will usually resist. It’s human nature, and you probably know it all too well from your experience with men.

Instead, the best thing you can do is to take the focus off needing to fix the situation and simply allow the space for him to naturally come forward.


I remain your favorite girl RRY... I WILL come again soon. I wish you the best in life and love.

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Growing up, I secretly feared many things & I would never tell anyone but myself; I was a huge advocate of pessimism.
I remember how my sister ‘Sarah’ would always rebuke me for being a pessimist…

The apex of my fear was the fear of marriage and generally the family life. This is largely because of how terrible of an example I saw ‘some’ families were, and how marriage never looked like something one should ever dare. ( unless of course you are mad…?

I was scared of becoming a wife no wonder I admired ‘The SINGLE LIFE’ so much, the freedom of not answering to anyone or be responsible for anybody.
(I mean who wouldn’t want that??)

…Interestingly, as I began to grow in the Spirit, the more I realised I was in error the entire time and ignorantly sowing wrong seeds into my future in the areas I feared the most.
The seeds of fear, failure etc. Now remember what job said…”what I feared the most has come upon me.” 
The world has so many ‘negative‘ things to say about everything but choose to believe no report other than the report from the word of God.

Sometimes, when I look at the world, my head spins at the torrent of events and the popular axiom that says a man is only crazy about you until he marries you.

…Ooh am also glad that the ability to change things has been given to you and I; the power has been placed in our tongue to change reports. See (Prov 18:21)
I will quote it for the sake of those too lazy to check it for themselves… #insertsmiles)

AMP:Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].

Sweethearts, if you find yourself constantly getting scared of anything, be it sickness, how you will make it in life, marriage, your finances, your future…ect. I don’t care what it is, all I need you to do is to simply look it in the face and tell yourself, for this reason “I” (put your name) was made manifesf that I may change the reports of that thing.

“For this reason was ‘RRY‘ made manifest that she may destroy the walls of sickness, broken homes, poverty (I hate the state of perpetual lack) and messed up marriages”.

Say these to yourself constantly and please believe what you say because it is within you to change ANY REPORT .

Sweetie! Never use your mouth to manifest doom… Create the very things you want to see… Never say it until you want to change it of course…

I remain your favorite girl..RRY
See you another time.

Many thanks for being part of the blog.


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