1. Feeding His-Love-Tank More Than He’s Doing Yours.
One of the most wonderful things about women is how naturally caring they are.
When we love a man, we want to do any and EVERYTHING to make sure he knows how we feel about him.
You’re always there for your guy. You look after him. You always make time for him. You are so generous and enthusiastic. You’d do anything for him.
You never realize that, in the process…
You’re actually taking something away from him. You’re taking away his hero instinct. A man would appreciate all the care you are giving him but also, he would love to be the hero.
When you end up doing the things he should be doing, he’s left helpless and “useless” to you.
Sometimes when you give so much love and attention, you will end up choking a man because their love tank is not as huge as yours.
Instead of getting him to reciprocate, he might end up running away. Do I have a witness?)
You don’t want to be going out there chasing him relentlessly and over-investing, when he’s not investing in you. You are putting your whole effort while all he does is that little bit of effort just every now and again.
Why should he put in just one percent when you are actually putting in a ten. That actually doesn’t feel really good.
2. No Closure..
Flee from a man who cannot keep his commitment on seemingly small matters like keeping up to an appointment. He said he would come visit and he didn’t, yet he would not apologise.
He was suppose to call back, he didn’t and couldn’t say why..
Instead of opening up, he would leave you stravig for answers.
Ocholi Okutepa puts it nicely”as a lady, you are not the needy, you are the needed“.
3. An Expert At Disappearing.
So you guys went out on an amazing date and everything went well. He dropped you home and promised to call but a day turned into a week and he never did.
He left you floating around the cloud; re-playing in your mind how the magical date had went the other day.
When you picked up the challenge to call and give him a benefit of the doubt, he gave a flimsy excuse. (too much work on his desk or that he’s been way-too busy with this and that..)
But then again, you texted him hello and made a funny joke from your date, and got no reply…
It was then you knew it was official: He had disappeared.(again)
You may be asking, why do they abruptly disappear and ignore me even after a seemingly “amazing date”
Sweetheart, ain’t nothing wrong with you alright, maybe it’s time you go with what Ocholi Okutepa suggested.
His advice is simple
“Stop acting like the needy and be the NEEDED that you ARE”
4. Back From The Dead.
This is when a guy who hasn’t messaged you in weeks all of a sudden sends you a message like this: “Hey sweetie. I can’t do without you.”
*Insert a frowny face because that’s what am doing)
what? Where in God’s name are you coming from?
This is a guy who decided to go off the radar without any adequate explanation, and then all of a sudden coming back to control the narrative because he feels like it in this moment.
(don’t fall for this Lil sweetness of his)
Instead: Turn the tables around and here’s what you should send: “Well, good for You .” and say no more.
And just in case your fingers are itching to type another reply… Send this. “Hahaha”
(it’s OK to get him confuse..
5. Delayed Replies.
When you two are together, you are thrilled at how quick he picks up his phone to type a reply to every beeb on his phone indicating the entrance of a new message.
Before he’s done responding to your conversation, he would have responded to at least 5 different messages from his mails, his FB posts, WhatsApp etc. In fact You are wondering why he should be giving the attention due to you to some strangers on his electronic device but you let it slide.(as a good girl that you are)
And then you expect the same treatment when you guys are not together but then you get the shock of your little life.
You are miles away and then send him a message and expects the same apt repaonse from him but nay… It takes him more than an hour to reply and sometimes till after two days or even a week.
And when he does, his responses are usually those short, abbreviated annoying messages. (Eg: howayu, thanks, hw ws ur day, I’m good dr, tkia 2)
I’m the love his life right? ( I thought so too baby)
He should at least have the decorum to type a decent message to me and be more affectionate. (that’s what good men should do right?) Yes!
Don’t worry baby, I understand… Take this tissue and wipe them tears. It will be alright soon. I promise! That’s why I’m here. To help you in any way possible…
... I’ve written a few tips on “how to avoid being disappointed.” I will publish it on Monday here on the blog so don’t miss out.
Ensure to keep tabs with us and share with those who need to read this.
Don’t thank me, my job is to make sure you are doing well.
Having said that, here’s a little conclusion…
If you’ve ever heard of the expression “action in inaction,” you’ll want to keep that in it mind here.
The concept is that NOT taking action and giving up control of a situation is sometimes the most powerful action you can take.
That’s because when one person in any interaction becomes the “convincer,” the other person will usually resist. It’s human nature, and you probably know it all too well from your experience with men.
Instead, the best thing you can do is to take the focus off needing to fix the situation and simply allow the space for him to naturally come forward.
I remain your favorite girl RRY... I WILL come again soon. I wish you the best in life and love.