Every now and then, little things in marriage culminate into huge ones. They either usher in joy, or make room for a serious grudge or resentment. So–oo, the other day, I took my precious time to grill fish for my household.
My intention was for us to enjoy our little “family time” since we can’t go anywhere (as you already know, covid hasn’t made anything fun.)
Being the over sabi that I am, most times, I like to go the extra mile and do something special. [who send me abi?] 👈That is a Nigerian slogan depicting someone who goes the extra mile to be nice.
The fish was ready, my face cracked with a broadened grin, I served it on a tray with all my love and brought it to the living room where everyone was seated. Smiling sheepishly, I felt proud about my industrious, energetic effort of wanting everyone have a pleasant evening. I first took the fish to my husband, as the head of the home, so he could take out his portion, before sharing it to everyone else.
Astoundingly, when hubby tasted it, his first words were… “Maybe next time, you should marinate the fish a little longer so the seasoning can enter very well.”Lol. At that point on, I was tongue-tied in dismay and I could feel some chills running down my spine.
Still, the innocent man just made an honest suggestion and went ahead to eat his fish. [never in a melon years would hubby have known his words bruised me. Men can be that innocently clueless.] Forgive me if this word may sound inappropriate to you.) it’s not an insult–I beg your pardon!
Ever and again, I wish my brain would allow me be a nice girl in this married life & let certain things slide without over analysing them.
But this genius (brain) doesn’t slack. Guess what? It went ahead to quickly process the words my husband should have said. A simple “Thank You” would have made a whole difference. (a thank-you-before-any-suggestion-kinda-thing) *smiles*
I expected an applause or at least an acknowledgement for working so hard the whole day, but I got the opposite. Let me say something quickly, do not expect anything from your spouse, not even a straightforward thank you.
Why RRY? I hear you ask– Because expectations hurt my dear. They pierce deeply. It is better to not expect and get, than expect and it doesn’t come. Am I making any sense?
This perfectly brings me to why I painted the fish scenario… In marriage, there are tons of variables that go into making couples enjoy a peaceful, loving coexistence. I do not qualify to talk about marriage but one thing I know is… The little things said or left unsaid can change the entire outcome of events within your home.
In this case, a simple Thank you that was not said hindered me from eating the fish I had taken time to prepare.
A gentle reminder y’all: You only have one life to live, and again, forever is too long to live not enjoying your marriage.
I mean, even if all there is to marriage is the advantage of taking care of each other and cheering one another unto a good cause, it is worth trying. Albeit, there is so much more.
Did you know? The strongest couples are the ones that understand the role of verbal communication in a relationship and how regularly exchanging words of comfort, validation and acceptance can solidify their bond.
Take these 5 things with you
- Validate each others feelings
- Notice the small things and appreciate them
- Care genuinely for each other.
- Be patient with each other
- Be available to help your spouse where they may need you to.
Many thanks again for being a part of this blog.
Remember! You can drop in your questions or suggestions in the comment section below this post.
I will come your way again and soon.
I remain your favorite girl RRY
I wish you the best in life and in love.
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Again! Many thanks!