As a kid, I wasn’t one to talk about anything I had seen or heard but one sure thing was the fact that, l learnt better and faster from seeing things than anything I was ever told.

I can still remember every scene, every picture of all the things I saw my parents did or those I visited but I cannot remember all that I’ve been told.

I still remember like it was yesterday one ugly experience I witnessed on a short visit to an aunt… it was a cold night cos it had rained before we slept.
…Cold enough to make you wrap yourself in a blanky and kill anyone who tried to wake you up.

I cant boost of remembering every juicy detail from the time we were forced to have our bath and go to bed but one memory I still can’t erase from my head was the sudden scream that came from the room next door…

Not inclined to what was going on, amidst the cold breeze we were enjoying, hearing that sound was disconcerting..

What is going on?
My aunt was being pounded by her “beloved husband” as though she was some sorta yam.
I can still remember the look on her face that was mirroring down a torment within while the four of us as well as the lady who took care of my aunt’s children stood at our front door looking at him pull out her hair like we watch from soup operas.

Wait a minute! Was a Nigerian movie being shot right inside our house or was I dreaming like I do every night?

It could be a dream I thought to myself, since I was accused of being a deep sleeper and birthing a dream from each episode. This is real? Jeeezzz!

Oh Lord have mercy.
You should see the shivers nearly rattling my teeth out as I type this.

That experience did something nasty to my mind as a child for a long time. I had to consciously erase it as I grew up because it was already making me paranoid towards the male folk.

Some two and something decades down the line, it was no surprise how my aunt’ son turned out, just like his dad. “A WOMAN beater” accompanied with some other stuff.
His mind was being fed the wrong way I guess.

Dear parents: both present and future ones. I’m talking to you so listen carefully.
Marriage is not by force neither is having children. If you aren’t READY, don’t try it.


Parenting through the eyes of a child is doing what you say and not saying what you never do.

No matter what you say and how many times you say it, children end up learning more from what they watch you do.

I’m in the middle of correcting all the negative things I picked from the wrong techniques my parents used.

Why am I doing this? (I’m glad you asked)
Just so my children do not have to go thr

ought the same  mistakes and nasty experience I had to suffer.

You see! I didn’t have the luxury of choosing my parents but you have no idea how glad I am to know I have the luxury of making a difference by being a better parent to the next generation.

That’s why if God allows me to have children someday, I am committed to doing any and everything necessary for their sanity as well as their wellbeing.

Watch what you say but most importantly, watch what you do.
These Lil guys see everything and sometimes that’s all they will use to form their perceptives and attitude.
You don’t wanna mess that up.
Stay safe.


Hello, My name is Ringnan Rachel Yarling. (RRY) I am a blogger living in Lagos, (Nigeria) I love inspiring and helping people Live healthy lifestyle (in every aspect). I love educating and inspiring other authors and entrepreneurs to succeed and live the life of their dreams. Never miss out on new exciting free stuff. Phenomenal Woman-That's Me!


  • Jemimah Donald-Ukeh

    Great piece here dearest RRY. Truly children learn more by observation. May the Lord help all the great parents who are doing their best.

    • admin

      Amen and amen Mum.
      I’ve missed you. Thank you for stopping by. God bless you and daddy for doing your best. More grace and wisdom.

  • Abigail

    True..Very true. I am a Sunday school teacher and I have observed that the little guys I teach learn a whole lot from my actions and what they see me do. Some even go the extent of learning how to talk like me.Hmmm, so I had to use all means available to inculcate in them good attitude.

    • admin

      Very true mother.
      They couldn’t care less about the words as the actions intrigue and motivate them to replicate the same things.
      Thanks for stopping by

  • Gang Yakubu

    Well explained my love. We will make sure we become better parents. With you and me I know we will achieve that. So proud of you

  • Lephtie

    Ring-Ring, I’m here. Pikin wey wan spoil go spoil oh.
    Na you say make I support you before you blow, so here we are

  • Dupe

    Great post Ring. So true! I made a similar blog post sometime ago. I hope people realize the importance early enough.
    How are you going Amariya???

  • Elijah King

    Thank God for Individuals like you in my life…
    I somehow learnt to filter the good and dump the bad…
    And I’ve learnt some more today.
    God bless you
    RRY (Rachael Ringnan Yakubu) ??

    • admin

      Thank you Elijah dear…
      I trust you will make an amazing parent with all that your learning..

  • Kiskin Esther

    My goodness Ring, u just said it right…. (Sigh) this is a good inpute that some parents need.
    Thank you for blessing me with this.
    God bless you.

  • Rin

    Very true Ring. We are reflections of our environments. May we unlearn the wrongs and ills- keep learning and relearning the attributes and virtues that will make our society a better place.

  • John Mikky

    Wow.this is very true.Lord help us to become better parents to our children. God bless you ma