As a kid, I wasn’t one to talk about anything I had seen or heard but one sure thing was the fact that, l learnt better and faster from seeing things than anything I was ever told.
I can still remember every scene, every picture of all the things I saw my parents did or those I visited but I cannot remember all that I’ve been told.
I still remember like it was yesterday one ugly experience I witnessed on a short visit to an aunt… it was a cold night cos it had rained before we slept.
…Cold enough to make you wrap yourself in a blanky and kill anyone who tried to wake you up.
I cant boost of remembering every juicy detail from the time we were forced to have our bath and go to bed but one memory I still can’t erase from my head was the sudden scream that came from the room next door…
Not inclined to what was going on, amidst the cold breeze we were enjoying, hearing that sound was disconcerting..
What is going on?
My aunt was being pounded by her “beloved husband” as though she was some sorta yam.
I can still remember the look on her face that was mirroring down a torment within while the four of us as well as the lady who took care of my aunt’s children stood at our front door looking at him pull out her hair like we watch from soup operas.
Wait a minute! Was a Nigerian movie being shot right inside our house or was I dreaming like I do every night?
It could be a dream I thought to myself, since I was accused of being a deep sleeper and birthing a dream from each episode. This is real? Jeeezzz!
Oh Lord have mercy.
You should see the shivers nearly rattling my teeth out as I type this.
That experience did something nasty to my mind as a child for a long time. I had to consciously erase it as I grew up because it was already making me paranoid towards the male folk.
Some two and something decades down the line, it was no surprise how my aunt’ son turned out, just like his dad. “A WOMAN beater” accompanied with some other stuff.
His mind was being fed the wrong way I guess.
Dear parents: both present and future ones. I’m talking to you so listen carefully.
Marriage is not by force neither is having children. If you aren’t READY, don’t try it.
…Parenthood is serious RESPONSIBILITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY.
Parenting through the eyes of a child is doing what you say and not saying what you never do.
No matter what you say and how many times you say it, children end up learning more from what they watch you do.
I’m in the middle of correcting all the negative things I picked from the wrong techniques my parents used.
Why am I doing this? (I’m glad you asked)
Just so my children do not have to go thr
ought the same mistakes and nasty experience I had to suffer.
You see! I didn’t have the luxury of choosing my parents but you have no idea how glad I am to know I have the luxury of making a difference by being a better parent to the next generation.
That’s why if God allows me to have children someday, I am committed to doing any and everything necessary for their sanity as well as their wellbeing.
Watch what you say but most importantly, watch what you do.
These Lil guys see everything and sometimes that’s all they will use to form their perceptives and attitude.
You don’t wanna mess that up.